A Letter to My Son

Some time ago, I posted a letter to my daughter, which I wrote for her senior retreat in high school.  Now, my son is a senior, and he is on a retreat.  He attended the same retreat last year, but this year he is one of the seven seniors chosen to lead the four-day journey.   Parents are asked to write letters to their sons, to be read during the retreat.  Here's the one I wrote a few days ago:

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Dear Alex:

In the 10 months since I wrote your last retreat letter, much has changed, but the important things are still the same, and the best things have gotten better.

 

This past January, you were working hard to make the varsity baseball team.  Since then, you have lettered in track and cross-country, become a cross-country co-captain, and gotten into the best shape of your life. 

Ten months ago, you were starting to rehearse a play in which you had a good, but small role.  Today, you are rehearsing for a play in which you have the lead, and getting ready to audition for a play in which you hope to be the lead. 

In January, you were thinking (occasionally) about school and (rarely) your AP exams.  Now, you are thinking about college and even pausing once in a while to reflect on possible careers.

It should be obvious that this is a time of transitions for you.  While you still have unfinished business at De La Salle, you are right to look ahead and plan ahead, because that’s the only way you will move ahead. 

This is an exciting time for you, Alex, and it will get better (although, at times, there will be some moments of anxiety).  Enjoy this time, and keep doing the things you need to do to enhance your life experience – focus on your classes, the play, and getting ready for the next track season – but keep looking forward.

While change swirls about you, the important things have not changed.  What I wrote in January remains true today:  “You are a fantastic person.  You have a wonderful heart and care deeply about your family and friends.  I marvel at your relationship with Tori, and I love hearing you talk to your mother about the events of the day or the latest drama in your life.  I never get tired of talking to you (as you know all too well), and I really never get tired of listening to you.  You have a wisdom and insight beyond your years, and it is endlessly fascinating to me.”

And while so many good things have been constant, the best things have gotten better.  You have a deeper faith and appreciation of what it means to be a Christian in our world.  You have begun to understand the positive impact you can have on others if you utilize the gifts God has given you.

As you move forward, always remember Jeremiah 29:11: 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Prosperity, hope, a future – these are the wonderful things that await you if you remain steadfast in your studies, your virtues, and your heart.

You and I have spoken many times of the need to build a strong foundation.  You are nearing the time when that foundation will be most severely tested, when you go off to college and live, work, succeed or fail, on your own.  I know the kind of man you are, and I see the kind of man you can become.  It makes me smile to think of you reaching your potential.

The great American soldier, General Douglas MacArthur, prayed:

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

Alex, you have these qualities and so much more.  I do not like to think about next year,  because when you leave for college, there will be an incredible emptiness in my home and in my heart.  But as painful as that will be, it is the inescapable companion and irrefutable evidence of the extraordinary joy you bring me every day.

 
You, your sister, and your mother are gifts from God, Alex, and I love you with the depth and emotion that such gifts deserve.  I love you without condition, wholeheartedly.  You are my son and, along with Tori and your mother, you are my life.

Dad.

Battle Creek, Part Two

After splitting the first two games of the Mayor's Tournament, my son's team came back to win its next game in a rout. Then, inexplicably, they dropped the fourth game to fall to 2-2, playing a team they could have and perhaps should have beaten. This second loss meant they would not be in the playoffs for the tournament championship.

The fourth game was a disaster in most respects. Our pitching faltered, the hitting did not come through, and Alex took a beating. Playing third, he dove for a ground ball and cut up his elbow. Then, another grounder took a bad hop and hit him in the Adam's apple, leaving quite a mark. I told him later that you could see where it said "Rawlings - Official Size and Weight" on his neck. Others told him they could see the stitching from the ball.

When it hit him, he bent over, put his hands on his knees, then rubbed his throat and went back to his position. It was obvious that it hurt, and he was taken aback. His coach came out to talk to him, and the conversation went something like this:

Coach: Are you okay?

Alex: I'm fine.

Coach: Can you keep playing?

Alex: Yes, I'm fine.

Coach: I'm taking you out anyway.

So Alex sat and watched the rest of the game. The next day, playing their fifth game in three days and with nothing to play for except pride, the Stars went out and hammered the opposition, winning 12-6 and finishing the weekend 3-2. Alex started and got the win, while going 2-4 at the plate.

In many respects, the last game of the tournament was the best -- the teams were competitive, and the Stars had to find out what they're made of. A win meant nothing in the context of the tournament, but it meant everything to their pride and self-confidence.

We can all learn a lot from teams that pull together in the face of adversity and persevere, if only for pride. These boys can be proud of themselves that they didn't quit and didn't phone in the last game -- they put forth a tremendous effort, even when one of their best players got spiked at second base and had to sit out the rest of the game.

I think we would all be better off if we lived the principles we try to teach our children.

Blogging from Battle Creek

If you have been able to work your way through this site, you have read about my son and his baseball team. This week, we are in Battle Creek, in the western part of the Enchanted Mitten, as his team plays in the Mayor's Tournament.

Their first game was this morning at . . . wait for it . . . 8:30 a.m.!

Although the boys were half asleep when they got to the park at 7:30, they slowly awakened and began the game. Alex, my son, was the starting pitcher. He was salivating over the fact that instead of the mound being 60 feet from home, as he has played all year, it was only 54 feet in this tournament. That's a 10 percent increase in velocity, without doing anything differently.

The game started slowly, with Alex walking the first hitter, who made his way over to third on an error. Then, with one out, the batter hit one back to Alex, who grabbed it and got the runner in a pickle between third and home. It looked like they might get out of the inning until the ball got away and the runner scored. No further damage that inning or in the second. 1-0, going into the bottom of the second.

After a lead off walk and a stolen base, Alex doubled up the gap in right center, driving in the tying run. He then scored the go-ahead run on a single, and the team widened its lead to 4-1, then later 6-1 with some timely hitting. Alex was rolling on the mound, pitching very efficiently, although he gave up 5 walks. Still, the other team was not scoring until the fifth, when they put together three unearned runs (on only one hit, their first of the game) to pull within 6-4.

Not to worry. Our boys hung a 6-spot on them in the bottom of the fifth to close out the game on a mercy, 12-4 (8 runs or more ahead after 5 innings and the game is over). Alex pitched 5 innings, gave up 4 runs, all unearned, and had 5 walks and 5 strikeouts while giving up only one hit. He was also 1-3 with 2 runs batted in. All in all, a good performance.

The good feelings were short-lived, however, as the boys had to go right back to work with a game at 10:30 against a very good team. The boys fought hard, but they seemed tired and the bats stopped working, the end result being a 7-0 loss.

Two more games tomorrow and one on Saturday. Then, we'll see whether they make the playoff games on Sunday.

It's hot here -- high 80s. Gatorade sales are through the roof.

So what do we do tonight, with some down time from the baseball tournament? We watch baseball! Alex and I are going with one of the other boys and his dad to the West Michigan Whitecaps game in Grand Rapids.

It's summer. There is baseball to be played, watched, analyzed, and loved for all of its intricacy, difficulty, and beauty.

I wish you baseball.